i am a runner

update

2009-06-05T10:43:00.000-07:00

I have been terrible at keeping this blog up. Suffice it to say that I am working out, no running though.

I tried acupuncture for the first time today, and I was admittedly skeptical. But it turned out to be very relaxing and the doctor was very kind. I hope it can help with the pain, but the doctor said the only real way to heal properly is to ease up on running.

Sigh.

Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday

2009-05-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

Monday--I did and intense 50 minute aerobics
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Tuesday--4 mile walk

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Wednesday 40 minutes kickboxing

Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday

2009-05-24T15:22:00.001-07:00

Thursday--40 minutes step aerobics
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Friday--5 mile run
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Saturday--30 minutes kickboxing video
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Sunday--5 mile walk with K.

No loss this week, but no gain either.

Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday

2009-05-20T15:13:00.000-07:00

Monday: I walked the dog for about 50 minutes. I desperately felt like running, but I held back.

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Tuesday: I did a light 60 minute dance video workout. Didn't feel like "enough," but it was better than nothing. At least I got moving.

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Wednesday: I ran 5 miles. My hip flexor hurt like Hades, so I took it slow. I am going to try and get to a sports doctor (thanks for the tip K. M.!) and see what can be done. I desperately DO NOT want to stop running, so I can train for the 1/2 marathon in September.

I stopped in at Weight Watchers--no gain or loss.

Saturday/Sunday

2009-05-17T13:28:00.000-07:00

I ran 6 miles yesterday (Saturday). I am missing my partner, but I am doing my best.

Unfortunately another injury has slowed me. I have strained my hip flexor, and much as it is going to kill me I think I need a few days off from high impact activity especially step aerobics and running. I am practically in tears as I right this, but what is the alternative?

I feel like I am ultimately either a) doing something terribly wrong (ie I am an idiot who cannot even run a couple miles without getting hurt) or b) I am simply built wrong. Sometimes I feel like my body is betraying me, mocking me by always being in pain of some kind. I almost feel like at this point no one will believe me when I say I've hurt myself again. It is so improbable it is laughable and pathetic.

I know the 8 extra pounds I am carrying around is part of the problem. But how do you lose the weight without running and working out extra hard? It is an annoying catch-22. I have been running or doing intense workouts for an hour or more every day for a few weeks. Taking time off will not help me reach my goal. Easier workouts may make my joints and muscle strains feel better, but it won't help me shed the pounds.

Ugh.

In any case, I took today (Sunday) off and I'll walk tomorrow instead of run. :-(

wednesday/thursday/friday

2009-05-15T10:36:00.001-07:00

Wednesday: step aerobics 1 hour

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Thursday: ran 4 miles, lost one pound

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Friday: 40 minutes step aerobics

Monday/Tuesday

2009-05-12T08:16:00.000-07:00

Monday I did an hour of moderate to intense exercise videos.

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Tuesday I ran 5 miles--felt really good! My leg feels better, but I am still wrapping it and icing it just in case.

Saturday/Sunday

2009-05-10T12:48:00.000-07:00

Saturday I tried to do a light aerobics workout, but my ankle and calf hurt so much it was impossible to do anything beyond a very light 30 minutes. I was terribly frustrated, but I made sure to spend the rest of the day icing, massaging, and resting my leg.

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Sunday my leg still ached, but I wrapped if from knee to foot and set out for a run. It hurt a bit for a while until the pain just sort of faded. I toyed with the thought that I probably am actually doing some terrible damage to myself, but by then the run was feeling too good to stop. I managed 7 miles and it felt great. I iced my leg when I got home and so far it feels ok.

Thursday/Friday

2009-05-08T04:17:00.000-07:00

Thursday: Did another awesome step aerobics workout. Felt really great in addition to hard. And I lost 2 pounds!!! Weigh in was crazy scary, but my hard work paid off--now just to keep it up...

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Friday: I ran a slow 5 miles today. My ankle, calf, and knee were really bothering me. I plan to work out tomorrow, but it will be lower impact--no step or running.

Yo, what a yo-yo (Friday)

2009-05-01T06:06:00.000-07:00

So I've nearly gained back all the weight I lost a year and a half ago.

*sigh*

Part of me desperately wants to throw in the towel. It would be so easy, right, to just eat what I want, work out only minimally and scratch of my Weight Watchers meetings from the weekly calendar?

But. . .

I've lost it before and I think, I hope, I've learned a lesson here. When the weight comes off I simply cannot congratulate myself with a sundae and go back to my old habits. And with a father deceased from heart disease and a step-father recovering from by-pass it is more than my pants size I worry about. My lungs, my muscles, my bones, and my soul will benefit from healthier habits and some lost fat.

So it is back to the grind stone. My old excuses of not enough time to work out (getting my ass out of bed even 30 minutes earlier would help) or not enough money to eat healthier foods (let's face it eating LESS means buying LESS) just aren't going to cut it.

So here I go again. . . I hope to start tracking my journey here once more.

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Today--10 minutes pilates warm up and stretching; 50 minutes high intensity cardio aerobics, home video

Saturday

2009-05-02T12:46:00.001-07:00

I ran 6 miles today in about an hour with K. It felt good, but my calf is oh so achy. Need some strength to get through my daughter's sleepover without eating junk food!!!

Tuesday/Wednesday

2009-05-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I did a 50 minute kick-your-ass step workout. Whoa. I forgot how challenging it can be! I am so into running these days that I often just don't do other workouts that much anymore.

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Today I ran 5 miles.

Sunday/Monday

2009-05-04T05:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I did a 30 minutes salsa workout (low to medium intensity) and then a high intensity cardio aerobics workout.

Today I ran 5 miles.

excuses, excuses

2009-01-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

I just wrote an email to K. that actually really sums up my fitness lately. I've posted it in part here:

I hate the cold and snow and when I run I feel like I am so slow that I am just not getting a decent workout. So I am now promising myself I will get out to run maybe 2 x a week at least on a friend's treadmill. Some friends have been working out at the high school in the evenings. The cost is extremely cheap, and they have tons of treadmills. But I've never really enjoyed working out at night, so I'll have to play that by ear on day to day basis.

I've been doing some workout videos and it has actually made me realize that I desperately need some cross training. My experience as an aerobics instructor has paid off in that I can make a fairly easy video much harder. I've had a couple great workouts this week, in fact. One video had me doing so many jumping jacks and jump rope moves that the last two days my calves have really hurt! But it is actually that good "I just had a great workout" sort of ache.

Everyone laughs when this California girls whines about the cold, but underneath it all I am dead serious. This weather is like torture to me in lots of ways. Now I feel like once again the ice and snow and cold is sabotaging my ability to get in a decent outdoor run. And the fall I took after Christmas was pretty scary.

Excuses. I'm full of them. . . .

a new year

2009-01-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

Well, it is January fist and I, like a million other Americans, am back on the dieting wagon. It has really been weeks since I tracked my Weight Watcher's points and noted what and when I ate. Today so far has been ok, but the challenges are bound to come.

Running has been hard with all the snow and cold, and last week I fell on the slippery snow. It was a hard fall and made realize that I need to be much more careful than I am. I am going to take my friends up on their offers to use thier treadmills and try other forms of working out (like snow shoveling!).

Happy New Year!!!

done

2008-10-30T17:36:00.000-07:00

winter update

2008-12-19T05:00:00.000-08:00

Well running has sucked lately which is no surprise considering how much I dislike the cold and snow. I am getting out there but only about twice a week and I am going only about 4 miles at a pop. Ugh. I need to get on a treadmill, but I hate asking friends to let me come over to use theirs since I don't have one. But if running is important to me than I'll just have to suck it up.

I promised my husband that I would do some shoveling today to get some exercise. The thought makes me shudder. Wish me luck!

2008-12-10T19:32:00.000-08:00

running in your dreams....

done being angry

2008-11-03T05:23:00.000-08:00

That last post? The really bitchy one? Well, I almost deleted it, but erasing those bitter, foolish, self pitying words won't make them go away, really. Instead I will acknowledge that I was mad and cranky and shouldn't have written them in case they hurt someone whom I care about.

What I will do, today, is take responsibility for my own actions. My weight is my own and my own fault.

Today I will take control.

bleh

2008-10-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

i'm not running because of my knee which i injured the day of the race by bashing it into a metal guard rail.

why yes, i AM a dork.

that's all.

sigh.

someone pass the bon bons.

i am miserably sad about not being able to run.

oh, and i'm getting really fat.

after the race

2008-09-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

Well, it was a hot one. As in so hot you wanted to lay down and die hot. As in serious humidity and soaring temps hot. As in they closed the marathon course at mile 22 hot.

My final time for the half marathon (13.1 miles) was 2 hours and 23 minutes and 56 seconds. My goal was to finish in about 2:15, but the heat was a killer. K. and I had to walk a lot toward the end, but many, many people had to walk, too.

I had pretty bad heat exhaustion afterwords and couldn't really eat and had terrible stomach cramps for hours. But I recouped enough to eat a large Italian dinner with K. and our families later that evening.

It was a hard day, but it was a good one. K. and I crossed the finish together just like we wanted to. And my kids and husband were there watching and cheering me on.

why

2008-09-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because so many people can't. I have dear friends whose bodies have betrayed them with disease. Mine is sound and strong and I can put one foot in front of the other. I will remember their struggles and the courage it takes to face down illness and I will remember them with every step I take.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because today I am seven years cancer free. Every step will celebrate my health and my very existence.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because proceeds from the race will fund much needed research for arthritis.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because even though I struggle with faith, running feels like prayer.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because 5 years ago this month I lost a much loved and wanted baby. Even though I should feel a little better with each passing year, I find that fall brings back the memories and pain. Each step will be step away from that pain and a step closer the the healing I never achieved.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because I want to see the shining, bright faces of my children as I cross the finish line. I want to scoop up those little guys and promise them that mama will always take of her body so that she can take care of theirs.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because I need to.

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9/7 7 miles with K.
9/9 4 miles
9/11 3 miles.

cranky

2008-09-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

Ok--so I ran 13 miles with K. over the weekend and 6 on Tuesday. But then my runner's toe sort of got outta hand and I ended up at a podiatrist (read: mid-evil torturer) who ripped the nail on my second toe on my left foot clean out.

Ouch.

I haven't run since Tuesday and it is making me cranky as hell. Well, that and the pms.

Oh, and the 7 freakin' pounds I gained over the course of the summer. I have a million excuses why this SHOULDN'T have happened (mega running & following my weight watchers program diligently) yet it still DID happened.

And I can't blame anyone for that but me.

I go back and forth between renewed devotion to my weight loss program and throwing my hands up and stuffing my face in a large pie. Covered with chocolate. And pure sugar.

My body doesn't feel like my own anymore. Did I tell you that I now get an allergic reaction whenever I drink alcohol? It would be funny if it weren't so scary. Like numb lips and swollen face after a few sips scary. I might have a mold allergy.

Can mold allergies make you gain weight? No? Well, I tried.

I go to the doctor in October to cry to her about my inability to drink and my fear that whatever is in those drinks might show up in a food and, you know, kill me.

Poor 'ole me. Wah wah. I have a boo boo on my toe and I am gaining weight and I can't have a glass of wine and my period is coming. Boo hoo. My life is so so so so so so hard.

I need a good kick in the pants. Please, someone tell me to get over my damn self.

for you

2008-08-30T16:20:00.000-07:00

To K. .. . my running partner and dear friend.

Three years ago you called,

"Let's run."

So we did, never looking back.

Blistering heat, snow, ice, rain, lightening

nothing holds us back.

It never will hold us back.

Everyday you inspire me to do more for my body, myself.

Our friendship nourishes my soul.

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a training update is below.

mixed bag

2008-08-30T10:23:00.000-07:00

8/28 I ran 5 miles today in about 49 minutes and included some intervals. But the signal for my GPS was weak and would fade in and out. I was also booking it hard and the pace it displayed never really made sense based on what I know I am capable of. Anyway, the gist is that it was a good run, and despite the displayed time I think it was fast (for me anyway).

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I found out at my Weight Watchers meeting that I gained 3 pounds over the course of the last 3 weeks. I knew I wasn't being that good with my points, but I also wasn't being that bad either. The 3 pounds made no sense especially considering that I ran 27 miles this last week.

I had walked in there feeling great about running so hard this week, and I was happy (for once) with what I saw in the mirror. But the reality was that I really screwed up somewhere. My leader said I actually need to eat the extra points I earn through activity, but I have never done that before. It actually doesn't seem logical at all. I mean, if you burn more calories than you take in you should lose weight not gain. Right? Logic tells me that I should have lost weight these last few weeks, not packed on 3 freakin' pounds! Yet, she insisted that I try it and assured me that she thinks I'll loose this time. Not sure I buy it, but I'll try it.

Any thoughts?