after the race

Well, it was a hot one. As in so hot you wanted to lay down and die hot. As in serious humidity and soaring temps hot. As in they closed the marathon course at mile 22 hot.

My final time for the half marathon (13.1 miles) was 2 hours and 23 minutes and 56 seconds. My goal was to finish in about 2:15, but the heat was a killer. K. and I had to walk a lot toward the end, but many, many people had to walk, too.

I had pretty bad heat exhaustion afterwords and couldn't really eat and had terrible stomach cramps for hours. But I recouped enough to eat a large Italian dinner with K. and our families later that evening.

It was a hard day, but it was a good one. K. and I crossed the finish together just like we wanted to. And my kids and husband were there watching and cheering me on.

why

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because so many people can't. I have dear friends whose bodies have betrayed them with disease. Mine is sound and strong and I can put one foot in front of the other. I will remember their struggles and the courage it takes to face down illness and I will remember them with every step I take.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because today I am seven years cancer free. Every step will celebrate my health and my very existence.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because proceeds from the race will fund much needed research for arthritis.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because even though I struggle with faith, running feels like prayer.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because 5 years ago this month I lost a much loved and wanted baby. Even though I should feel a little better with each passing year, I find that fall brings back the memories and pain. Each step will be step away from that pain and a step closer the the healing I never achieved.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because I want to see the shining, bright faces of my children as I cross the finish line. I want to scoop up those little guys and promise them that mama will always take of her body so that she can take care of theirs.

I will run 13.1 miles on Sunday because I need to.

------------------------

9/7 7 miles with K.
9/9 4 miles
9/11 3 miles.

cranky

Ok--so I ran 13 miles with K. over the weekend and 6 on Tuesday. But then my runner's toe sort of got outta hand and I ended up at a podiatrist (read: mid-evil torturer) who ripped the nail on my second toe on my left foot clean out.

Ouch.

I haven't run since Tuesday and it is making me cranky as hell. Well, that and the pms.

Oh, and the 7 freakin' pounds I gained over the course of the summer. I have a million excuses why this SHOULDN'T have happened (mega running & following my weight watchers program diligently) yet it still DID happened.

And I can't blame anyone for that but me.

I go back and forth between renewed devotion to my weight loss program and throwing my hands up and stuffing my face in a large pie. Covered with chocolate. And pure sugar.

My body doesn't feel like my own anymore. Did I tell you that I now get an allergic reaction whenever I drink alcohol? It would be funny if it weren't so scary. Like numb lips and swollen face after a few sips scary. I might have a mold allergy.

Can mold allergies make you gain weight? No? Well, I tried.

I go to the doctor in October to cry to her about my inability to drink and my fear that whatever is in those drinks might show up in a food and, you know, kill me.

Poor 'ole me. Wah wah. I have a boo boo on my toe and I am gaining weight and I can't have a glass of wine and my period is coming. Boo hoo. My life is so so so so so so hard.

I need a good kick in the pants. Please, someone tell me to get over my damn self.